#5

nothing much to talk about because i dont think she even comes in and read and also the fact like i'm a broken disc player,repeating the same shit. maybe the first few she did, doubt she read #3 #4 and today's. Self forgiving is hard Ming(my manager) said. Some struggle their whole life some struggle only 1 day. Since it is almost impossible for her to even talk to me anymore, let alone forgiving me, i at least try to forgive myself.

Cibai robot bising like fuck. The one that spins around to clean the floor for you.

Yesterday was the 2nd day of me back in Coffee Bean. I already know,except for Ming and I, the guys all are womanizer. All 4 of them. I am still not that close to them to advise them not to be. Though i understood how was it like,i was their age once,but i guess i am not that kind of person anymore.I could have more than one "girlfriend", guess i was changed by her unconsciously. Well enough of that,because i guess you guys are tired of me talking too much about those. But just few more sentences because i got to hear a song while i'm making my drinks which brought a memory back. I bet you people listened to a song called Dear God by Avenged Sevenfold? I dont know if she remembers, i sang to her this song last time,she cried on the phone. Sigh,every single line of the lyrics hit the right spot.

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again, oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
And all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
When hope begins to fade...

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Hope is hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

aih.so what i wrote all these here?Like a friend said, i wrote it here because i want to. There's nothing for me to hold onto to be honest, only memories and fucking pictures. so this was how she felt. i understood most if not all her feelings,and i can assure you,it's not at all pleasant. :( :( yeah dream on chee tat,like those pathetic pouts will bring you anywhere.

Chee Tat.