Italic fonts are the parts being edited later,memory jog is tough.
Lucas is a typical everyday guy,has every normal guy personalities, who has a sort of long distance Belinda,well depends how you see it. Lucas is a college dropout and Belinda was still a student back then. Of course she is a graduate now,but this story takes us back,what was Lucas' perspective. Lucas found a job,sales oriented,flexible job. At first he hesitated, because of numerous reasons,but he took it anyway. If you're a dropout and your parents stop giving you allowance,any job seems good and Belinda gotta eat too. Lucas understood there was no way $ could have fell from sky and Lucas knew back then Belinda's mom was comparing between Lucas and her daughter's ex. Obviously Lucas lost in every single possible way, it's almost an insult to compare him to Lucas. When he entered Citibank,he was very excited, he told everything to Belinda. Got his 1st potential customer on a Christmas eve,Lucas was very excited. But he also aware that he promised Belinda to go Melaka to spend Christmas together. Yes like everyone could have guessed, Lucas couldnt make it. He was late,tickets were all sold out. He even called Belinda and apologised, but Belinda lost it, she threw tantrum on her. Lucas was upset, why she couldnt understand how important his potential was? it's not like Lucas went to do something irrelevant. So Lucas got to Melaka by travelling by KTM to Seremban and from there he got into a bus that reaches Melaka. They made up, and got through a fun Christmas, which Belinda had one too many to drink and Lucas took care of his drunk girl.
As days gone by,little did Lucas know, Citibank was a gateway to temptations. He was introduced to the beauty of happy hours and socializing. Now Lucas is always going out with colleagues and bosses,drinking it out. The new found freedom has completely changed Lucas. The freedom he once thirst for,he had it in his hands right now.Eventually, he msgs Belinda lesser and lesser. Like any other girl would do, Belinda got upset and lectured Lucas. Lucas does possess a weak spot for Belinda, he took Belinda out for a date. So one fine day, both of them went into a mall, and went into a boutique where they sell good wallets. Lucas has been wanting to buy a wallet, but he all this while he didnt, because most of his $ spent on necessities,Belinda and alcohols. Then Belinda saw a handbag/purse . She was mesmerized by it, Lucas already hating himself why the fuck he has no money to buy it. That though, it did enter into Lucas' priority list. After few walks, Belinda took his man into men's wallet boutique and Lucas of cos found something that he really really fond of. Then they left the store, Lucas was thinking, "ahhh well, i can wait. I get hers first. I owe this much to this girl.Jui duo (cantonese) i eat less drink less,i can pay it off in two months time). Before he could open his mouth, Belinda already said "Buy me that and i'll buy you the wallet. ok?" Lucas was like "oh ok,u sure?if you are,i'm going to buy it now". Lucas saw it in her eyes at the point of time,it was the first, where he saw happiness in her eyes.
Belinda went and get the wallet for Lucas. They both went home happily. What made Lucas even more happy, Belinda's mom acknowledged Lucas' gift and complimented it was nice. By her standard, Lucas knew he made a breakthrough. They can proudly now announced to her mom saying yeah, Lucas has came back to her life and yes, they are dating. Then Belinda got back to Melaka for classes.
Author's memory got a bit tweaked. somewhere in between, Belinda got upset over Lucas that he didnt come find her that often anymore. Lucas couldnt bear seeing her sad, he went and cash advancements(basically loaning from credit card) just to take a cab to go over to Belinda's place and see her.
This is where things about to get very controversial. The author did not edit the story in any way to make it favorable to anyone at all. Besides,the author dont see the point of doing so.
One fine day, Lucas got a call from Belinda that she broke her leg. "haaa. are you sure?might be something else.why dont you go see the doctor first and see what he says,then you call me back ok?" Belinda called to tell her condition and Lucas offered to send her back from Melaka to kl, "Ok,i'll take the next bus to you and i'll send you back tmrw?" Belinda said her mom wanted her to go back on that night itself, and Lucas did call her mom and talked over,and it was decided that it was the night itself that they were to go back to KL. So everything went accordingly, and Belinda texted Lucas to come over to accompany her surgery. Accompanied Belinda and her mom, Lucas did,at hospital getting ready for surgery. Lucas saw his girl burst into tears,then her mom did and Lucas was just barely holding back. Belinda's mom asked Lucas to call his sister to ask for her sis's blessing see if it is Lucas ok with staying late to accompany Belinda. Lucas' sister was ok with the idea as long as Lucas has a few hours of rest before work. Belinda's mom demanded the truth from Lucas,the exact words from Lucas's sister and that's what Lucas told her mom. After understanding the situation, both of them worked out a schedule and Belinda's mom was kind enough to borrow Lucas her car and asked him to go home and rest as Lucas will be coming back after tomorrow's work. As planned, that one week, Lucas has been rotating shifts between her mom and him. There was times that her mom got to the hospital early and asked Lucas to go home and rests more and there was times where her mom was slightly late,which Lucas understood why. And there's one night, Lucas wanted to leave early, because he was about to be introduced to some managers of other banks. His appointment was 9pm,and it was well 9pm and he wanted to leave, Belinda gave him this long pout and puppy eyes, which Lucas couldnt have the heart to leave. He stayed awhile more until her mom called and asked Lucas to go get the porridge from the house and back to hospital for Belinda. He was leaving at that point of time,he wanted to go to other bank, Citibank he couldn't stay. Hence, to Lucas at that point, this opportunity was a golden one. Belinda let Lucas go after he got the porridge. Each time Lucas closes the door, he would peek at her,she was so sad when Lucas left the room. It basically sliced a bit of Lucas' heart.
There was once,Belinda's mom asked Lucas if he can come over to her house to take porridge at 6am.Lucas told either Belinda or the mom that he needed to rest.
So one day,her mom asked back the car and Lucas got no transport to go over to visit Belinda. On the day before Belinda got released from hospital,they were still in argument, but Lucas said sorry, and asked what is the time of her being discharged. She only said morning, Lucas then said, ok,you let me know what time,i'll take lrt to come over. It was lunch hour and Belinda yet to give Lucas a call or text, so Lucas asked Belinda what happened. But Belinda was angry at Lucas, she said they were back at home already. She also added, if Lucas has the heart to come over and help,he would have take the day off himself and come over.
As we know, Lucas now is on debt, an amount where it was 4 digit. Things got tighter, Lucas no longer can go for happy hours unless it's on boss's bill. But one thing Lucas still goes to despite his financial condition,he find it important to release stress because bosses are now asking for figures. Every tuesday night, Lucas goes for futsal to release stress. He didnt go for futsal last week because Belinda's still in hospital. The week where Belinda got back home,Lucas went there once at least to accompany his girlfriend.
On that day itself, Belinda,Belinda's mom and Lucas talked about arrangements to classes. She asked if Lucas can take a couple of days off, Lucas remembered clearly he said "2-3 days should not be a problem, MC can be bought anywhere".
Belinda was very very upset because, it was only once that Lucas came on that week. Lucas was trying to explain why and said things that he didnt mean to. He said " back and forth, i would spend near to 30ringgit, and that could buy me 3 meals". It broke Belinda's heart. Lucas knew he said something so wrong, but his ego his pride was in his way. He couldnt wake up from this thought that he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life. He rejected Belinda's offer to pay for the cab. To Lucas, a guy should provide, not female. Lucas has too much pride and ego at the point, he refused and yeah, they got into another fight. Before things got better, Lucas' friend birthday on the weekend. He was invited to club at that night itself,it was very last minute. So, knowing Belinda will throw tantrum, Lucas done another big mistake, he lied. He lied to Belinda, "baby,i'm sleeping soon. i'm tired. good night. i love you." Now, the only lie in that sentence was "i'm sleeping soon.". Lucas lied,why? because 1) new found freedom is eating him alive 2)it was friend's birthday 3)wouldnt want Belinda to feel left out, as Lucas remembered, he promised to bring her to club with his friends.
Like we all would know, Belinda found out, and was heart broken, she broke up with Lucas. Devastated but he saw it coming. He asked if he was sure,because between Belinda and Lucas,they had this agreement where they shouldn't use "breakup" to win an argument. Belinda said, it was final. Lucas since then,built a lie to himself, he was in denial. He thought he deserved to be understood where he was coming from. He built a lie where he wasn't appreciated for what he had done. He drank whenever he can find a chance, this is his way of keeping himself in denial. Even a concerned friend came to him one day, "eh Lucas, u sure ah you dont want to get back with her?" Belinda even called and asked Lucas back,sent him a long ass email to make him change his mind. In front of his friends, Lucas said no, he doesn't. But actually, every now and then, he cried a little reading the email. The only thing Belinda didnt do was to show up in his doorstep with a long pout and puppy eyes, Lucas was sure to give in if that would have happened. Even then, Lucas was very concern about Belinda's well being. He would login his friend's social networking account to check on Belinda's progress and he would ask his friend how she is. So one day after two months of in denial, Lucas couldnt withhold his feelings anymore, he admitted he still miss Belinda, and he still loves Belinda. so he took his friend's account who added Belinda as friend, he confessed openly exactly that,so Belinda would read it. And so she did, and Lucas chat with her using another name of Lucas,which he once had. Lucas thought Belinda would have remembered and Lucas expected to give away and let her know anyway. Maybe it was never meant to be,Belinda couldn't recall. Things got even worse when Lucas contacted Belinda directly. It was too late. Now Lucas is facing and feeling every single things and feelings that Belinda once went through. Lucas now understood that what he has been doing is wrong, he regretted his doings and finally understood what a girl needs from her boyfriend.
We should thank Lucas for letting his insights and share what he learned from this.
1) Nothing is more important than your loved ones. Not your career,not your friend's birthday, not your freaking hobby.
2)It is not demanding when your girlfriend wants you to call her everyday,texts her,sing to her every night or say i love you to her everynight. Not that she wants to check on you,she wants to know everything about you.
3)It's a fun world out there, agree. Either you dont go out or you bring your girlfriend along. Even if you dont bring her along,pls remember to come back by her side fast.
4) listen to her rants,her dissatisfaction instead of waiting for a chance to get into a fight. Because it hurts to feel that he/she is being taken granted of.
5)turn off your phone whenever you're with her. respect her and she only wants your utmost attention. is that too much to ask?
6)just do whatever she wants for the sense of security,make her feel safe.
One would ask, what would Lucas have done or will do,if given 2nd chance?
here onwards,Lucas would be talking
1)give all my salary to her,let her be my chief financial officer. she might be saving for something else too
2)man up,set my priorities straight. Belinda and her mom should be and only be my priorities
3)Fuck career advancements, i should have stayed behind with Belinda.
4)If Belinda says my friends are bad influence,i would delete all of them and only remain her,her mom and my family's numbers
5)not going out anywhere and with anyone,not without her.
6) pride?ego?what's that? those are worthless. so what if people laugh at me?i'll be having the last laugh when i have my love and you struggle to find yours.
You may held Lucas responsible,he typed these himself and can be used for evidence.
You guys might not think this suitable or not healthy, well the author and I has two words for you, "grow up". In the end, who would be there when you hit rockbottom? your family. Belinda was with me every single day.They both hate me to guts, and i just can't accept the fact that i've done all this and this took me 2 fucking months to wake up?I'm sorry and i regret my doings. I believe first step in changing your mistakes is to admit that you're wrong. Thank you for reading,at least gave me a chance to put it into words. And yes,i love you baby. after things i said to you and you said to me,i still love you.
Cast: Lucas,Belinda,Belinda's mom.
Kelefeh: Lucas's sister.
Author: Ethan.
Sincerely,
Liew Chee Tat,
*will be edited every now and then because memory jog is hard for the author,he has weak memories.
Seriously, thanks for reading,and i am really sorry. I love you baby.
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